


Not Into Women

by HoneyGrunge



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Fluff and Humor, Jack being Jack, M/M, Ok not much fluff at all but maybe if you squint, Short One Shot, Suggestive Themes, Unresolved Sexual Tension, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 01:45:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18906988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyGrunge/pseuds/HoneyGrunge
Summary: A what-if scenario where Jack interrupts Rhys and Sasha in the Atlas greenhouse.





	Not Into Women

**Author's Note:**

> HipsterIzzy and I were lamenting the fact that we think the Sasha/Rhys scenes are forced onto the player, so I just wanted to write a short little scene between Jack and Rhys! I SO wish Telltale had given us some Rhack possibilities in that scene!! Hopefully I rated this correctly; I usually write really mature stuff and if this should be rated such just lmk and I'll change it
> 
> Also I'm on a semi hiatus and haven't been consistently writing so I'm a little rusty ♡

"So, how 'bout you? Got a special someone?" Sasha asks, desperate to remove August from the painfully awkward conversation.

Rhys opens his mouth to reply when a familiar blue glow flickers to life in the corner of his eye. The self deprecating quip freezes in his throat; he reflexively swallows, tensing and glancing at the uninvited eavesdropper while Sasha squints at his sudden shift in comfort.

"You...you good, Rhys?" she prods, rolling her eyes when the eclectic cyborg simply flushes and nods in response, moving past her towards the beautiful - and quite possibly deadly - forest.

"M'fine...let's just uh...get this over and done with."

The finality of his words and the turned back is more than enough to send Sasha in the opposite direction, shooting his likely concussed head a dirty look before poking around a corner to investigate a half raided loot box. Rhys glances back and pauses, eyes flicking between the uncharacteristically silent Jack and Sasha's hunched form before settling back on Jack.

"What's up, kid? Don't wanna talk to our favorite little spitfire?"

The condescending tone and judgmental eyebrow earns a scowl from Rhys, who turns on his heel and wanders over to a particularly spikey looking fern. Jack follows, peeking over Rhys' metallic shoulder; he frowns and withdraws when the shoulder hunches and Rhys gives him an off-color side-eye.

"Look, Rhys, man, am I REALLY that scary?? I'm feelin' a lil bit alienated here," Jack huffs, incorporeal fists clenching and chiseled jaw pushing out for an award-winning pout when Rhys starts to nod in response to his question. "I thought, y'know, thought you said you trusted me back there."

"I did, I KNOW I did, it's just...you're just...intimidating," Rhys mumbles, squatting and poking at the fern until the assaulted tendril curls back in on itself. Jack squats with him, keeping some distance to avoid startling him again. 

"Listen Rhysie, kiddo, I got a plan to get you focused. Whats-her-face over there - Sasha? - you could get some pussy to calm those jangled nerves. I mean...WE could, if ya don't mind me stickin' around to jack off my...electrical pulses?"

"Just stop calling me KID," Rhys spits, regret washing over his face when Jack flinches.

"Fine, just tryna help a bro get his pathetic little wang wet, don't want my advice then just fuckin' SAY s-"

"I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry. Anxiety's got me on edge. And um...by the way, I'm not into women."

The newsflash seemingly takes Jack by surprise, his anger dissolving as a knowing smirk creeps onto his ever-predatory features.

"OoooohoHO I KNEW it! Wait - but you got a ECHO drive file for some college sorority runt; Stacy right?" 

Rhys sighs and nods, wincing as he shifts to sit on his ass instead of squatting.

"Yeah Stacy was...she was a mistake. My parents are super religious nutjobs and I thought, you know, maybe I just hadn't found the right girl. I mean I do think Mad Moxxi is hot but it's like, more of an appreciation thing, I never really watched her porn. And Stacy kinda looked like her. Anyway turns out the only thing I liked about any of it was-" but he cuts his nervous rambling off, a brilliant shade of pink climbing up his neck as he realizes just what he's about to say and WHO he's about to say it to.

"Ya took it up the poop chute didntcha, casanova?" Jack teases, but his expression is mismatched - just like his irises would be if not for the hologram. He's grinning but his intense eyes are hooded, now critically studying Rhys' folded legs and looking for all the world like a cougar scenting its prey. Rhys blanches and looks away, slight panic flooding his system as Jack's smile falters.

"....you think I'm a rapist, don't you? That lawsuit from my first year as CEO."

"....I think I don't KNOW what to think. And would you PLEASE stop accessing my memories without permission?" 

"Ok, but ya can't blame me, if I didn't do SOMEthing to entertain myself in that empty noggin' of yours I'd lose my goddamn shit," Jack growls, pausing and glancing around for Sasha before continuing. "And I swear to god Rhys, that smear campaign lawsuit was just one of my college exes trying to get money after he came running back and I said no. Killing people is fun and all but I prefer my partners willing."

Jack's sudden seriousness eases Rhys' tension; at least he understands the gravity of the conversation.

The pair falls silent, and the silence is deafening. If Jack can access Rhys' memories then he knows Vaughn is just a friend and there wouldn't be any toes stepped on if Jack moved in on his host; playing dumb isn't difficult for a man as smart and dangerous as Jack.

And of course...he knows everything else. Masturbating to the posters, everything. 

But he hasn't tormented Rhys with it. Why? There are a million possibilities, a few of which Rhys finds himself enjoying a little too much for his own liking.

"Maybe we should go find Sa-" he starts, disappointment blooming in his gut when Jack is gone, stored away in his head again for yet another inopportune visit. Rhys draws a shaky breath and buries his face in his hands to steady himself.

"Just come out again soon, I hate leaving you unsupervised," he mumbles with a glum tone, pushing himself up and preparing to head back into the fray.

He's only taken a few steps when Jack sighs behind him, swaggering with exaggerated mime-steps but looking overly pleased that Rhys actually wants him to stay out.

"Just don't make me regret this conversation," Rhys grits out, fighting a small smile of elation as he hurries off to find Sasha.

"C'mon pumpkin, daddy never disappoints."

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr and Twitter: Maedhros36 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed <333


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